Life = uncertainity??

Once in a while i drift off into those moods.. where you feel like ur living 2 lives, feeling 2 or more things at the same time for 2 different reasons, unable to focus on what is really happening.. it's odd i tell u... life..... can it be another name for uncertainity? Possibly...

What's the fun in knowing whats going to happen tomrrow? What's the point of knowing how long you will live? What is the point of knowing what mistakes you are going to make.. and how you are going to make amends for them? A life that is completely planned out, each step, each minute, each moment, each feeling... scripted out and placed in your hands... "You cant make any changes to it.. but you ought to act according to each and every line placed on that script!!"... Seems like a nightmare to me....
I enjoy the straight road, the curved path, the mountainous rides, the highs , the lows, oh how i hate hieghts, nevertheless..i take absolute pleasure in the bumpy rollercoaster life ride! :) ....

The rides can be so tiresome and strenous that you forget the essence of uncertainity. Ex: when an uncle falls ill, you hate not knowing whether he will be alright or whether he wont survive..( yes thats a dramatic example.. but even drama is based on real life .. isnt it?) ... how come we dont.. or how come I dont appreciate uncertainity then? Why are we humans so double minded on everything ...?

Though i say life is filled with surprises ( good and bad.. wait.. can surprises be bad too? hmm..!!) .. i do belive.. there is that part of our life.. that we have full control over.
Many times in life, we use "it just happened"to cover up for our mistakes or things we notice yet push aside as unnoticed. Feelings that we feel, can be justified as.. it just happened.. but.. did it JUST HAPPEN? do DID WE WANT IT TO HAPPEN? ... ???

There is always 2 parts of you ( like in those cartoons where the devil guy sits on one shoulder and the cupid/angel guys sits on the other and both of them argue as to which decision is correct!) ... when making a decision. The part that talks to you clear and loud is usually the one that is the best option to take, yet we have this mechanism, wherein we lower the volume( as per our convenience) of the correct voice ( sort of speak!) and use our internal speakers to boost the volume of the voice that gives us momentary pleasure/happiness/pride etc ( basically the quick way out!)... So we make ourselves belive that "oh look.. the wrong decision is actually the right decision"and paste a smile on our faces and step into shit! :) (I know i express myself in an unusual manner.. but as i say.. unusual is the usual way people understand ...!) ..
Some of us.. after having taken the step into the deep stinky shit, have the courage to come out of it and take complete responsibility for the mess... certain others.. prefer to look around.. swat the flies( of course with displeasure and with total irritation) and ultimately blame others or cover ass by justifying it with "it just happened.. i dont even know how...!"

Funnily enough, i've noticed that those who bother to take responsibility end up having to face many shitty situations.. while the ass coverers ( as i shall refer to them from now on).. get it the easy way. They seem to climb the ladder.. ( ladder of life.. corporate ladder.. ladder of success etc) faster than the others...
What i would like to find out.. sooner or later.. is whether these people make it big and stay big? or do they make it big.. and then fall...?? Not that i take pleasure in people's misery.. but i would definately like to find out if hardwork and courage pay out in the long run!!

Honesty is not something people give priority to, these days, if you admit that you have made a mistake, most likely you will suffer grave consequences... which can negatively effect you..( yes i agree the effect can be negative or positive depending on the way you take it.. but still...) It makes me sad... no.. sad.. is not the right word.. it disturbs me... how the world is becoming so globalized yet see things with such narrow perspective... its a complete contradiction .. i feel!

Oh well... i guess.. we will just have to wait and watch who will win the game of honesty vs asscoverers..!! :)
Till then............. we shall ponder... :)